G.M. Sunshine Devotionals

“A man who has friends must himself be friendly, But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” Proverbs 18:24 NKJV

I have looked at this scripture in many different versions and found that most other versions differ quite a bit from what the KJV and NKJV version reflects. In fact most other versions display the verse to mean that one who has many random friends may be harmed, or come to ruin, or destroy each other.

I remember my high school days, when I was seemingly a part of many group, clubs, and teams and was very friendly with everyone. But the reality was, that if you were to put all those the individuals together they would never get along. In fact, some despised each other, but never put pressure on me to feel the way that they felt towards another. Typically, you’d find that those who suffer with people pleasing mentalities (especially when highlighted in specific seasons of their lives), make friendship decisions based on likeability and earned respect through dedicated contributions to an individual, group or team, rather than connections based on healthy trust, respect, empathy, and vulnerability.

The scripture says that one who has friends much be friendly themselves. And it is definitely true. There is absolutely no way for you to have friends unless you are indeed a friendly person. In extreme cases I would say that an unfriendly person who forms a connection with other unfriendly individuals based on their shared contempt or intent towards a specific or general focus, are not considered friends but rather an alliance.

In the Greek, the word friend translates to ‘philos‘, meaning loved, dear, or friendly, and the word friendship translates to ‘philia‘, meaning a friend and involves the idea of loving as well as being loved. In fact, biblically, the word friend has been used as a two edged sword separating those who are considered a friend of God, from those who are considered a friend of the world. And that separation is taken so seriously that James, the brother of Jesus, refers to those who are a friend of the world as adulterers. James 4:4 NLT says “You adulterers! Don’t you realize that friendship with the world makes you an enemy of God? I say it again: If you want to be a friend of the world, you make yourself an enemy of God.” This may be one of the reasons why many bible versions have wasted no time in interpreting the scripture (Prov. 18:24) in such a way; because the friendship of the world can indeed harm, ruin, and utterly destroy us, which is the opposite of our lives as a friend of God.

The scripture in Proverbs 18:24 actually talks about 3 types of situations: friends (philos), friendship (philia), and a friend (hetairos). With philos, representing a one directional or one-way love that denotes either you are a friend of God or of the world, and philia representing the idea of a reciprocating love that flows between the two parties; there is a distinct friend that is referred to in the Greek as ‘hetairos’. Hetairos is a comrade, companion or partner that is distinguished. It is a term of endearment, that can also be referenced as a disciple or even a mate. “One who sticks closer than a brother”. This is someone who has endured with you in difficult situations, carrying significant weight for you when you couldn’t carry it. They’re always there, spending lots of time with you, accompanying you in everything for your protection and guidance. They are closely involved in every aspect of your life, holding your hand, comforting, sharing, providing, and collaborating to jointly own, operate and share as you ascend the many hills and likewise descend to the many valleys – sharing the same beliefs, goals, and the many ventures of life.

While you don’t have to feel pressured to owe every friend a complete fill-in or dossier of your life (whenever you connect), just because you are friendly with them. There is one revered friend, who is even closer to you than any family member could ever be. His name is Jesus. And John 15:13-17 NKJV says that “Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends. 14 You are My friends if you do whatever I command you. 15 No longer do I call you servants, for a servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all things that I heard from My Father I have made known to you. 16 You did not choose Me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit, and that your fruit should remain, that whatever you ask the Father in My name He may give you. 17 These things I command you, that you love one another.”

Friendship can indeed be a burden if it only flows one way and back and forth with the wrong basis of connection, but with the right foundation, consistency, and intentionality it can be the most freeing relationship you’ve ever had. Words cannot even describe it!

Be blessed,

G.M.